Virgin Shoes

In one of my retail gigs I sold men’s shoes. If you’ve opened a lot of boxes of shoes which I have, nothing looks nicer than opening a box and seeing shoes that have been packed well. It may sound a little strange but I’m compulsively tidy. If you are familiar with the cultural reference, the Odd Couple, then you will understand when I say that my husband and I are Felix and Felix. We both like things to be very tidy and keep our house spotless. All of our clothes hangers in the closet match by color and by style. None of the shoes in our closet are on the floor, they are all on shelves. One day I went back to get some shoes for a customer. A pet peeve I used to have when I sold shoes was that most salesmen will take a pair of shoes out of the box to be tried on and then, when they put them away, the salesman shoves the shoes, packing and stuffing back into the box helter-skelter so that sometimes the lid can’t be closed. It would embarrass me to charge somebody $200 or $300 for a pair of shoes when it looks like I was digging them out of a rubbish bin.  If I had the time, I would check the contents of the box before I took the shoes to the customer. I took the pair of shoes to the customer and when I opened the box there was the factory packing around the shoes.  Under my breath, I commented: “Aah, virgin shoes”.  Apparently, the customer heard me because he said: “What does that mean?” I leaned closer to him as I said: “They’ve never been penetrated by a man”. He offered to buy them before he even tried them on. I told him I could let him have the shoes for the same price.