Virgin Shoes

In one of my retail gigs I sold men’s shoes. If you’ve opened a lot of boxes of shoes which I have, nothing looks nicer than opening a box and seeing shoes that have been packed well. It may sound a little strange but I’m compulsively tidy. If you are familiar with the cultural reference, … More Virgin Shoes

A Tie That Binds

In my last retail job one characteristic that distinguished me from all other male employees in the store was that I wore a bow tie every day.  One of the guys I worked with whom I’ll call Joe was 6’5”, in his 40s and had a sense of humor as irreverent as mine.  When I … More A Tie That Binds

Hunting for Cougars

Apparently I have skills at performing match making functions for straight people. I even have hookup skills for young straight people but those are a lot easier.  These are more about sex and less about love. Young people, in my opinion, think about sex in a much healthier way than the world I grew up in.  … More Hunting for Cougars

Matchmaker Tribulations

I’m a happily married man.  Despite the fact we’ve been together over 40 years, I can’t imagine being happier or more in love, even now.  Because of the joy I get from my relationship, I feel the need to help others find that special feeling. The people around me know of my urge to make … More Matchmaker Tribulations

Honest Work

Cash is the dirtiest thing people in retail handle.  Cash is nasty because it passes through so many hands and is hidden in so many places.  Usually you have no idea where money has been.  Occasionally you can guess its origin which makes it worse. One morning last winter I had the opening shift at … More Honest Work

To Buy or Not to Buy

Once I had a customer who came in with his wife looking for shoes.  In the end, they didn’t find any shoes but the husband asked me to ring up some underwear his wife had selected for him.  His wife left to go to the Lady’s Room leaving the two of us at the cash … More To Buy or Not to Buy

No Meal Here!

I have a physical characteristic that men never talk about.  It is something that causes self-consciousness rather than embarrassment and it does affect how I dress.  I have perky nipples.  They are not particularly large but they have stood tall and proud as long as I can remember.  As a result, I have always made … More No Meal Here!


Once when I was heading back to work from a break I stopped to chat with a young woman in another department.  I don’t recall how the subject came up but we ended up talking about Magnums (condoms).  For those of you who may not be familiar with this product, it is a fairly well-known … More Magnums


In Texas, hygiene rules require that men and women wear some type of socks/hose when trying on shoes. When customers came in with no socks on their feet, we were required to provide them with some kind of foot covering.  As a result, we had “try on” socks for our customers.  They are essentially nylon … More Pantyhose

Walk This Way

There are many visuals that show that spring is here. Women begin wearing sandals, men switch from their felt fedoras to straw and gardens become freshly planted. At my retail gig, we have a sweet young female employee that provides us with another indicator of seasonal change. To protect her anonymity, I’ll call the young … More Walk This Way