This evening while working at my retail gig, it was busy but nothing that couldn’t be handled easily. That is until the gentleman I work with went to lunch. About five minutes later all hell broke loose. It was as if a city bus stopped right outside our department. First, multiple guys all wanted shoes in different sizes and styles. I was moving faster than I realized I could gathering up requested shoes and passing them out like Frisbees. Next, they all decided on their purchases and approached the cash register together. I had five customers in line (a couple of them had friends with them) and they were all acting as if they were in a hurry. I knew things were going to get ugly fast if I didn’t do something. Customer complaints are taken very seriously regardless of whether we could do anything about it or not. I knew I had the potential to get complaints so I did what I always to when I’m cornered – I started talking. The first guy in line was a white guy who had told me I seemed very energetic for my age. I used that line to begin telling a story that I made up as I went along. I told the white guy I appreciated his comment and that I had received a similar compliment earlier. However, that guy asked me “Do you still freak” which I thought was kind of a personal question. Since he looked puzzled, I explained to the white guy that “freak” is a word in the black vernacular meaning “have sex”. I got a black guy and a hispanic guy in line to concur with my definition to lend authenticity. I told him of course I still freak! I said I have heard that if you don’t use all your parts they will become non-functioning (moving to customer two). As a result, I work to keep that part of my body active even when I really don’t want to (moving to customer three). I told the customers that I’m kinda popular among store employees and often get invited to freak with them during lunch (moving to customer four – I notice that customers one through three haven’t left). There are a couple of problems with freaking during lunch. One issue is finding a place with privacy. The second issue is comfort. Some of the younger folks suggest a car in the garage. I may be pretty energetic for my age but when I try to stretch out my six foot frame horizontally in a compact car for an extended period of time I start cramping up (moving to customer five). Another problem for me with freaking at lunch time is that an hour isn’t long enough. All five guys remained with me until I completed the story and were laughing a lot. I don’t think I have to worry about getting a complaint for bad service. Now I only have to worry about them complaining about my borderline inappropriate story.
