Recently a woman in line ahead of me at the grocery sidled up beside me. She discretely told me my fly was open and I instinctively thanked her. This is such a common issue for me I feel no need for discretion. The woman appeared older than me and, although I don’t know her, I have seen her in my neighborhood usually with a male companion. I told her I had seen her around and asked if she was married. She assured me she was. I told her I believe all men have a switch in their brains installed when they were young boys to involuntarily remind them to zip up their flies. Unfortunately, that switch seems to burn out around age which causes us to forget to zip up. If people bothered to look at the flies of men over 60 (which they predictably do not), they would realize there is a sea of open zippers. After sharing my theory with my neighbor she told me she thought I was right because she didn’t let her husband leave the house without visually checking him first.