Spread ’em

Not long ago I had a semiannual health check at the VA. Unlike the press and a lot of people I have talked to, I love the VA.  I was in the waiting room when I was called to see my doctor.  I was escorted to the exam room and introduced to a young woman who was introduced as a Physician Assist trainee.  My doctor asked if it was ok if she stayed for my exam.  Over the years I have learned to leave my dignity and modesty in the lobby, so I said of course she could stay.  I respect my doctor a lot because of her knowledge and she laughs at all my jokes.  We talked about all of my bodily functions and all was well.  As I was getting ready to leave, my doctor asked me how long it had been since I had my prostate checked.  I told her it had been a long time ago.  She looked at my record and confirmed what I had told her.  She asked if I would be willing to let her check it or if she should schedule another appointment.  As much as I like her and the VA, I told her I was unwilling to make a special trip for a digital prostate exam.  Being a good trooper, I walked over to the exam table, dropped my trousers and bent over the table.  While I was waiting for the doctor to glove up, I looked around the exam room for the trainee (which was difficult to do while bent over).  I finally found her in the far corner by a cabinet checking her nails. I told her I wasn’t shy and she was welcome to come over if she wanted to see the exam.  In fact, I told her she could even hold the cheeks apart if she wanted.  Not to sound like a man whore but I love going to the doctor because it is about the only place where my naked body is still welcome and I appreciate any opportunity to have someone ask me to drop my pants anymore.  If you’re not a medical professional, I’ll still drop them, the difference is that it will probably cost you a diet coke.

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