kerrylaughs

My most embarrassing stripper performance occurred when I was on tour to Longview, TX.  I was dancing at the renowned gay club – the Rainbow Romper Room.  I had arrived a day earlier because I was going to use a pole as part of my performance for the first time.  I was really excited about adding this new feature to my growing list of performance options.  I was even thinking about having a pole installed in my home although Ed had strong reservations the pole would not work with our decor.  On the fateful day, I left my room at the Best Western feeling confident.  When I arrived at the club, I was informed that I was going to be delayed by an hour.  Apparently, a high-spirited young lady had beaten another girl senseless with a pool stick for winking at her girlfriend.  The injured girl had been rushed to the hospital although she was reported to be in good condition.  The young lady who had been the aggressor had been barred from the pool room as punishment for her transgression.  However, she was still feeling destructive and had gotten behind the curtain concealing the stage.  With Crisco she retrieved from her pick-up truck, she covered the pole I was to use later. Crisco causes problems when used on a stripper pole.  After a little bit of time it becomes tacky losing much of it’s slick.  Also, it tends to be physically unattractive because lumps of white grease blow back on the performer.  When I got there, the bar back was still removing the Crisco with industrial strength chemicals.  The owner of the club had gone to the Piggly Wiggly to get some Pam to re-lubricate the pole when the Crisco had all been removed. I should have known better and just cancelled the show.  When things are done too quickly there are bound to be problems.  When I finally got on stage to perform, I was wearing a new sailor suit I had recently commissioned that was lined with snaps on both sides for quick removal. I was going to use the pole as the climax of my performance. At the end of the performance, I grabbed onto the pole wearing nothing but my sailor hat (with a chin strap because I didn’t want it to fly off) and began spinning from the top of the pole slowly gliding downward. Disaster happened about half way down the pole. My hands hit a spot on the pole where Pam had not been applied and my body stopped spinning abruptly. Unfortunately, my prosthetic device kept spinning. Within moments, I felt searing pain as the prosthetic device separated from my body with some of my hair and a little skin was stuck to the glue.  The prosthetic device dropped to the floor followed by me clutching the source of my pain.  The owner closed the curtain quickly and came back to help me to the dressing room (really a store-room for the empty beer kegs).  He was very nice as he helped me tend to my injuries but told me the rest of my tour was being cancelled.  I returned to my hotel room that night a broken man. Fortunately, I have only encountered two people over my long career that witnessed my shame.  I decided not to include the pole in any future performances.