Dating Drawers

Although my retail gig was in Men’s Shoes, Men’s Underwear was right next door.  We often helped underwear customers with their purchases.  You can immediately spot single men that are dating by the underwear they select.  There are three categories of underwear worn by single men and I thought I would give you a description of all of them.

First:  The largest group is represented by bright colored underwear made primarily from synthetic fabrics including modal, spandex and other stretch fabrics.  There is little to no natural fabric in this block of underwear.  This underwear is “engineered” so that any body parts in the front can be pushed up and out.  Many of them are also engineered to lift and separate the two halves of the derriere.  The body shapes are clearly visible under clothing.

Second:  This group is much smaller than the last and is specifically represented by the 2Xist Brand.  This second group is made up largely by gay men and a much smaller number of other men.  There are two things that set this brand apart from the group above.  They have much higher cotton content and they have briefer models available.  The upside for this brand is that your junk gets occasional gasps of air and there is less perspiration (crotch odor).  The downsides are that the vibrant colors don’t last as long, the fabric wears out sooner and the price is higher.  Being ever practical, my people have decided the trade offs are fair based on body odor alone.

Third:  This group is also much smaller than the first.  These are the Polo boxer short guys.  The boxer shorts for these men are not the $39.50 packages of three – these are the boxers sold individually for $28.00 or more per pair.  Beside the price, these higher priced boxers feature fabric that is better quality and heavier as well as a button fly.  I recently bought some of the high price boxers at an unbelievably low price.  I did not find the button fly a useful addition.  Not being used to the strategically placed buttons, I nearly wet myself trying to figure out how to get my manhood out of the fly while at a urinal.  I need to know I have access to a speedy exit.