kerrylaughs

When you get to be my age, you can’t help but consider the fact that life is finite and one day death in inevitable.  I realize I am much closer to being made into a crispy critter than I made my initial trip through the vaginal passage.  Most people would much prefer being hit by a bus than fight a long, painful illness.  For me, I think I have found a solution.  We live on the 14th floor of our building.  One of our balconies overlooks a circular concrete drive in front of the building.  I have asked Ed (although admittedly he has not agreed) to bump me off the balcony in the event I come down with a serious life ending disease or lose significant mental faculties due to dementia.  A couple seconds of terror and – problem solved. I discussed the idea with our friend who manages the reception desk for our building.  We are quite friendly with this woman knowing her for more than a decade.  She requested that Ed not bump me off during her shift.  She said otherwise the building manager would require her to hose me into the street to transfer responsibility for the body to the city.  As a side note, I have been told that if you are going to be cremated, items are removed from your corpse that won’t burn.  Ed and I over the years have become big bags of spare parts.  He’s had both hips replaced and I have a pace maker in my chest and a metal rod in my leg from my hip to my knee.  I have suggested to Ed that if he survives me, he should get my pace maker from the funeral home to sell in on eBay.