Kerry is a slightly demented old man who observes life in a quirky way. Having long ago lost his ability to filter his speech in any way, it's not uncommon for him to say things that are inappropriate. Unfortunately for those people who cross his path, Kerry is unable to allow strangers to pass without talking to them. While his comments don't surprise friends they can sometimes startle strangers. Fortunately, Kerry lives with the love of his life and straight laced husband of over 40 years, Ed. They live a surprisingly happy life together in Dallas, TX. All of the stories that are included here are actual occurrences. Because of Kerry's slight dementia and his love for double entendre/innuendo it can be assumed that a liberal dose of artistic license is included in his writings. The one exception are the stories that are in the category "Senior Stripper". The stripper in these stories is Kerry's alter ego, "The Longest Day", Kerry himself. Kerry and Ed met in the USAF and have been together ever since. The two of them have had a variety of careers and lived in a variety of places. They have a son and daughter-in-law in rural Indiana who they are very proud of and who complement their lives. One of the pleasures Ed and Kerry have pursued over the years has been travelling the world. They have visited multiple locations on six of the seven continents.
My primary moniker at my retail gig was the old guy with the bow tie. The reason behind this nickname was an effort on my part to make it easier for customers to be able to distinguish me from the other old white guy I worked with. Although we looked nothing alike we were constantly … More Old Guy with the Bow Tie
When Ed and I got together in Germany, we rented a two bedroom apartment in a very quaint small village named Kyllburg. The base where we worked had a shortage of housing for single officers so it was no problem getting permission to live off base. With permission to live off base came access to … More Two Peas in a Pod
Because my sanity is often in question, I believe I’m a pretty good judge of how crazy other people are. I had an incident several years ago where I found I still had a lot to learn about levels of mental health. When traveling alone on business I didn’t like to eat in nice restaurants … More Psychosis
Ed and I went on a Danube River Cruise several years ago. The day before the cruise started we met three other couples at the hotel suggested by the cruise line. We immediately bonded and the eight of us socialized and stuck together for the next week. At the end of the week, the most … More Mister Inappropriate
A couple of years ago I had a performance scheduled at the “Take Me Home Retirement Center”. I had been approached to perform about six weeks after I broke my hip. Initially I was reluctant because I was still required to use a walker. However, my reluctance melted when I found that the performance was … More My Life as a Male Stripper (6)
Tallywhackers was a new restaurant concept which opened in Dallas in 2015. This new concept restaurant was supposedly designed for women as an alternative to Hooters. In an ad, they claim they will be a chestaurant instead of a breastaurant (their creative terms, not mine). Despite the number of districts in Dallas that come to … More Tallywhackers
A woman at work recently complained that her boyfriend goes commando under his basketball shorts. She said his manhood flops around like an eel out of water. She said it kind of embarrasses her and he doesn’t know how it looks. I stopped her there and told her: “Of course he knows how it looks, … More Commando
On several occasions I have been mistaken for Orville Redenbacher. If I had been given the opportunity to select my doppelganger, I know Orville would not have made the list. However, it is what it is, and I accept that I have aged into some of his characteristics. Like Orville, I wear horned rim glasses, … More I’m Not Orville
After having quad bypass surgery and then a heart attack, I had a battery operated device installed in my upper chest. I am really a happy and positive person who has a tendency not to worry about things that haven’t happened yet. The morning I had to check into the hospital, I was in a … More Third Nipple
I had customer come in once that set off my gaydar at the highest intensity I have ever felt it. The guy was a very masculine burly 6′ 6″ Paul Bunyan type. Being a strong believer in customer service, I quickly asked if there was anything I could help him with. He told me he … More Marry Me
kerrylaughs 
You must be logged in to post a comment.