A couple of years ago I had a performance scheduled at the “Take Me Home Retirement Center”. I had been approached to perform about six weeks after I broke my hip. Initially I was reluctant because I was still required to use a walker. However, my reluctance melted when I found that the performance was … More My Life as a Male Stripper (6)
Tallywhackers was a new restaurant concept which opened in Dallas in 2015. This new concept restaurant was supposedly designed for women as an alternative to Hooters. In an ad, they claim they will be a chestaurant instead of a breastaurant (their creative terms, not mine). Despite the number of districts in Dallas that come to … More Tallywhackers
A woman at work recently complained that her boyfriend goes commando under his basketball shorts. She said his manhood flops around like an eel out of water. She said it kind of embarrasses her and he doesn’t know how it looks. I stopped her there and told her: “Of course he knows how it looks, … More Commando
On several occasions I have been mistaken for Orville Redenbacher. If I had been given the opportunity to select my doppelganger, I know Orville would not have made the list. However, it is what it is, and I accept that I have aged into some of his characteristics. Like Orville, I wear horned rim glasses, … More I’m Not Orville
After having quad bypass surgery and then a heart attack, I had a battery operated device installed in my upper chest. I am really a happy and positive person who has a tendency not to worry about things that haven’t happened yet. The morning I had to check into the hospital, I was in a … More Third Nipple
I had customer come in once that set off my gaydar at the highest intensity I have ever felt it. The guy was a very masculine burly 6′ 6″ Paul Bunyan type. Being a strong believer in customer service, I quickly asked if there was anything I could help him with. He told me he … More Marry Me
Yesterday I had a guy put a pair of nasty/sexy underwear on the counter and asked me if they were on sale. I apologized telling him the underwear he selected was NEVER on sale because the guys who purchase it were actually having sex. I explained that retailers know men will pay full price for … More Nasty/Sexy Underwear
In my Mom’s later life she liked to go on shopping outings and I would take her to a mall at least once a month. On one trip she found a straw hat she wanted. I purchased the hat and eventually we headed home. While we were on the highway, my Mom was holding the … More I’ll Eat Your Hat
During the last years of my Mom’s life, she had a lot of health problems including a particularly nasty type of dementia. She would very often have unpleasant hallucinatins that were very real to her. Because of her multiple health problems, she lived with Ed and I for a little more than a decade. One … More Imaginary Exterminator
The 4th of July is here and it has caused me to reminisce about some of my earlier holiday performances. This holiday has always been a busy one for “The Longest Day” (my nom de plume). One holiday about a decade ago, I designed and wore one of my most creative costumes. I decided to … More My Life as a Male Stripper (5)
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